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Inspired by those who seem to effortlessly and audaciously take bold action in favor of their dreams, I set out to discover—what do they have that I don’t, and how can I get it? 

Masculine worth: I want it and I’ll have it

Masculine worth: I want it and I’ll have it

My thesis: There’s no difference between believing you deserve something and believing you can have it.

On a recent Free+Native Instagram live, Amanda Chase, founder of oSHen Creative and badass b, discussed what it feels like to have “masculine worth.” This topic was of particular interest to me because Lacy Phillips, manifestation guru, asserts that coming into your masculine worth is critical to claiming the abundance you crave. 

*Disclaimer: Each of us embodies both “masculine” and “feminine” energy/worth, regardless of our gender or identity. Masculine and feminine worth are constructs that are useful when assessing behavior, nothing more.

On an Instagram live I asked Amanda, what does masculine worth feel like? 

“It feels like a deep belief that you’re worthy of whatever it is you want;”
“like nothing outside of you can inform your perception of yourself;” 
“like you won't settle for anything that’s not right for you;” 
“like you follow your intuition without question or pause;” 
“you remember that you’ve always been worth it, and now you believe it;” 
“despite what anyone says, you’re going to do what’s best for you;” 
“you’re cool with who you are, and nobody and nothing can throw that off;” 

As Amanda described masculine worth, I remembered having this feeling. I recently broke up with my ex-boyfriend because he didn’t adore me enough. It was true. My friends thought it, I thought it. The point is, I felt that I deserved, and could have, better. And I wasn’t going to settle for less. I told him my terms, he didn’t agree, I walked away with no doubts as to whether I’d made the right decision. This doesn’t mean I didn’t miss him or that the breakup didn’t cause me pain. But by god it does mean that I never looked back and thought to myself, maybe I shouldn’t have walked away; maybe I should take him back; maybe I should compromise. Never. And I mean never, ever. 

Why? Because I knew that I could get what I wanted. In fact, it dawned on me that I could get what I wanted before I even realized that I deserve better. I remember a conversation with my friend Lydia where I lamented that I want someone who adores me. "I know I can have it," I said. "I’ve had it before.” She didn’t miss a beat: “you have and you will.” That’s when his fate was sealed. Why settle when better circumstances were certain (if I walked away from what was not serving me)? 

THIS is what masculine worth feels like. Aha! 

Amanda’s description also reminded me of a story from Think and Grow Rich where Napoleon Hill relates Henry Ford’s determination. Ford decided that his famous V-8 motor was going to be built in one block. His engineers all insisted it was impossible. Ford said, “produce it anyway.” So his engineers worked for six months with no progress. Another six passed and still nothing. To this Ford retorted, steady as ever, “go right ahead…I want it and I’ll have it.” And then, “as if by a stroke of magic, the secret was discovered” (Hill, 10). 

What struck me was the line, "I want it and I'll have it." Similar to Henry Ford, I demanded what I wanted once I knew I could have it. I believed it was possible and then decided it would be

This sheds new light on another passage from Hill’s Think and Grow Rich: “there is a difference between wishing for a thing and being ready to receive it. No one is ready for a thing until he believes he can acquire it. The state of mind must be belief.” (22, Hill). 

"No one is ready for a thing until he believes he can acquire it." This leads me to ask, what do you wish you had in your life? And do you believe you can have it?

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